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Old Lady's Diary
Old Lady's Diary - sent in by cherrycheesecake
From an old lady's diary:
Time Changes Everything....
I used to have Saturday Night Fever... Now I just have Saturday Night hot
flashes.
Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old... as long as she buys him a
few drinks first.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose... some parts of my body
are just prone to swinging.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
I think I've reached my sexpiration date.
People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we
get cable or that dish thing.
The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs.
The bad news is they have to squat down first.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast
relief."
I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for people my age.. But they
haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child
playing with matches.
Don't let aging get you down... It's too hard to get back up!