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Obituary
Obituary - sent in by cherrycheesecake
OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common
Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will
be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life
isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies(don't spend more than
you earn) and reliable parenting strategies(adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual haras sment for kissing a
classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition! It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot , spilled it
in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason, He is
survived by Two Stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner, Not many attended
his funeral because so few realized he was gone.